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Thursday, July 6, 2017

Lost My Brother To A Monster

    The last thing we said to each other was I love you. I would have said more if I knew we would never speak again. To try and tell you I have accepted everything would be a lie and too difficult to explain what I am feeling. To be honest I am mad at you. What you did was incredibly selfish. What you didn't know. How ugly the Monster is waiting for all of us should we choose to go down this path.
    Others have tried to tell me you chose this. I don't and won't ever say you chose to fucking die. I know this. I know you. We had plans to live. From someone who sat in the darkest hell with you. Knowing well we shouldn't be here. You would never choose death. We searched for our escape. Along the way people hurt and failed us. Mis-informed and misguided us. They preyed on our pain. While we prayed to not repeat this day.
   The Monster that is human error and failure is what killed you. Although you are at peace now. I felt  you had so much more to do here on Earth. You were broken in a broken system . Trying to pick the pieces up of your own life . I watched you feel neglected. I shared your struggle. We spoke on family and the saddness way before addiction. How much pain we shared with one another was unique. To be able to speak our own language in a room with people who have not woken up to what we have. That was special my dude. We were and always will be brothers. I would have given my life to let you know how much love I had and have for you.
   I lost you to a Monster that had many moving parts. I would have gone to war for you. Instead we were always going to war with one another. I guess that's what brothers do. We fight because we feel we know best for one another. We fight because steal sharpens steal. Real recognize real. You were fly. You deserve those wings. You are my guardian angel now.
   The Monster is now on to others like you. From the Dealer who used you for his best interest. To the system that let you slip. I cannot reverse your last steps. I have been trying to ever since I heard that Mans voice saying you were gone. He cried, I cried, we all cried for you. Such a beautiful soul. My brother in life , my brother for life, and now my brother In Christ eternally.

1 comment:

  1. Eerily familiar, but what's more familiar is being under the blood