I prefer to Eat My Ice Cream with a small spoon

    
      

I prefer to eat my ice cream with a small spoon. I realized this today along with a million other weird but particular things I like and don't like. Things that I obsess about that separate me from reality for moments sometimes minutes at a time. A big spoon in my ice cream is one of those such things. My girlfriend made me a bowl of ice cream and gave it to me today. I thoroughly enjoyed the ice cream except for the large spoon. I can't really tell you why but when I was presented with this delicious treat the big spoon bothered the shit out of me. I loved the ice cream. It was presented to me in my favorite coffee cup with the word " Create" engraved on it . Everything was fine except this fucking spoon. My mind works like that. My beautiful mind is capable of so many loving creations and tools for self help. It is also capable of being self destructive full of self hate and completely distracting the shit out of me from what I need in order to put one foot in front of the other on any given day . If I could create a world where the big spoon does not exist I truly would. I find it utterly useless and uncomfortable to eat with. If I want to savor my ice cream this odd ball instrument  devours it before I can enjoy myself.
        Reality and what my mind creates can be on total opposite ends of the spectrum. Did you know that if you live to 80 years old you will have taken just about 670 million breathes in your life time. I looked that up right after I got over having a big spoon in my ice cream. In America we are a pharmaceutically driven health care system combating and attacking any notion of the soul. In India they practice and teach you about soul sickness and how to heal the heart holistically. I looked that up as well one time when I took a break from my brain. I was looking for an alternative solution to a problem that seems to not get fixed in America. We are suffering in the states from a  social soul sickness that is being dealt with by Chemicals as opposed to Love. Too many big spoons destroying our moments to savor life slowly. What you use to eat with will ultimately decide what you choose to take into your mind, body, and soul. I for one want to take the rest of the time I have hear on earth taking small bites slowly with the hopes I can slow down time. I once thought about how a clock works during a meditation. But since the story is about small spoons in my ice cream I will save it for another story.