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Sunday, November 13, 2016

I am Undefeated

      
When facing any challenge in life you must have the mindset of a champion or you will lose and sometimes lose badly. Not every battle ends in a win but they can always finish with a victory. My mindset when I first got clean was to never go back to the way I used to live ( strung out and homeless). Those thoughts would haunt me so in turn I would torture myself with the mindset of a champion. I would tell myself even if I faced loss I would never allow defeat of myself again. I never believed in myself and allowed doubt to destroy my character and sense of self. I was broken and lost and didn't recognize the man I thought I learned how to be.
           I have yet to be defeated in the last 6 years. I have taken so many losses on so many chances coupled with things like death which is completely out of my hands. When I lost my closest friend I felt defeat and at the same time victory over my own disease and addiction. It can be a double edge sword.  Death to addiction reminds you of your own mortality and renews the sense of gratitude for being sober if you remain open minded. Never lose hope or your problems will win. I am a champion of my addiction and choose to remain at the top. On the road to victory you will make so many mistakes as I have but never let it discourage you. These are the things that mold you and make you a sharper fighter when its time to step back into the ring. Your mindset is everything. Your mind is what is going to tell you and fight you on whether you should engage your soul. When I skip prayer it starts with the argument I have going on with my mind. Should I or shouldn't I? Why when you can pray in the car? I'm in a rush Ill do it later today. But that moment usually does not come. Your mind does a good job of hiding your memories that are most important to you. The ones that remind you of the person you are fighting to be.   
           Watch out for the thoughts that defeat you. Be aware that those voices just might not be you. They are not your friends and most likely would give anything to see you lose. Have faith and courage through your trials and tribulations. They will be your armor , strength, and sight when you are blinded by calamity and negativity. Having the heart of a champion does not require physical strength. It is the essence of life built up from within. It is in you already you just have to nourish and cultivate that which is ready to grow. You are a warrior act like it till you feel it and it becomes a part of your everyday character. With this mind set you will face many losses but never feel defeat.

This is dedicated to my father Edward Johnson who just survived a heart attack. Thank you for showing me yet again that there are levels to victory. I love you.


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